I ran across this on the Internet. He puts into words many of my own thoughts about parenting that I wanted to share.
Bursting the cocoon
Despite our most basic parental instincts, we can't shelter children forever, says E. KYLE STEINHAUSER
12:00 AM CDT on Friday, June 22, 2007
The flat-screen television hanging on the wall illuminated the small room. The room was dark, save the faint black-and-white images. I held my wife's hand in mine and gripped my 3-year-old daughter as she sat on my lap. Staring back from the television at us was the newest member of our family – a boy or girl set to arrive in less than three months.
As I sat in the doctor's office contemplating the 3D image of my unborn child, my thoughts turned to Joseph Bosch. Twenty-two years ago he and his wife, Lynn, must have been excited anticipating the birth of their daughter, Meaghan. I thought of Greg Smith, who 19 years ago with his wife, Missey, welcomed the news they were expecting a baby girl, Kelsey.
Nothing prepares you for the amazement of making "eye contact" with your child in the womb. The bliss of the present was balanced by the terror of the future. As I stared at my unborn baby, I kept thinking of the photos of Meaghan Bosch and Kelsey Smith that seemed omnipresent in the newspaper and on the Internet. Who could imagine the ultimate fates of Meaghan and of Kelsey when those innocent, candid photographs were taken?
Meaghan, an SMU student whose life lacked no material need or want, was found dead in Waco after a drug overdose. Kelsey was taken from an Overland Park, Kan., Target and found dead several days later in a nearby suburb. The morose endings to these young lives illustrate the way parents suffer not only their own risks in life, but also the risks that confront their children.
On occasion I find myself virtually paralyzed with fear that one of my children, despite all of my provisions or precautions, will find the wrong path or become the victim on a heinous crime. Add to that the myriad lives taken too early by disease or automobile accident, and parenthood seems almost unbearable.
My genetic code is stitched with a legacy of high-strung worrywarts. I do my best to remember that at the end of the day there is nothing really we can do but strive to be great parents and to trust our children to be responsible and to be careful. Children grow into adults and must populate an adult world, which is full of poor decisions and terrible twists of fate. No amount of material prosperity or parental supervision can provide an impermeable cocoon.
I am no expert, but I have learned a few things watching others rear their children. First, give your children your time and then your money. How hackneyed, but how ignored. Life gets its meaning from relationships – with God and with one another – not from riches. Too many parents still define success based on loot, not on love. Cherish each moment with your child as if it is your last.
Second, gently loosen the reins. Overprotective parents can damage children almost as much as uncaring ones. In college, the wildest kids were those with the strictest parents. My fears aside, I must let my daughter go on a date – and possibly to prom. We live in a fallen world, and as such terrible things happen to us and our loved ones, no matter how hard we fight.
Finally, parents are not friends. As tempting – and pointless – as it may be to be the "cool" parent, kids have plenty of friends, but only two parents. They need parents. Sometimes that means being "uncool," like telling a teenage daughter that her bikini is too itsy-bitsy or her skirt is too short. Teenagers must be reminded that they have fewer "rights" than they imagine.
I can only image the pain felt by Mr. Bosch and Mr. Smith last Sunday on Father's Day. Nothing in the world prepares one for losing a child. Nothing prepares a father for losing his little girl.
My wife recently convinced me that between work and school, I spend too little time with my little girl. No longer. I want to enjoy every second holding her before she is too big or I am too uncool – because she always will be my little girl.
E. Kyle Steinhauser of Frisco is a technology marketing manager at a publishing company and a Voices of Collin County volunteer columnist. His e-mail address is ekyles@gmail.com.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Late additions on good news, too
Bruce Robison released an EP titled "It Came From San Antonio"
"Somewhere..." readers know that Bruce is atop the heap of my CD player these past several years and so the emergence of new work is always reason for cheer.
This one didn't disappoint, other than it's EP status, which of course means it is only about 2/3 to half of a regular album in length. Observations on this new work, song by song:
"It Came from San Antonio" -- a groovy little tune intended to harken the psuedo-British invasion (think The Monkees). While it has a catchy hook and is a little change of pace for Bruce, I wouldn't have made it the title track. I'm not keen on the organ or the ambient juke joint sound. It's an odd take on an odder niche and the "everyone join in on the chorus" feel doesn't suit Bruce's vocals. But it's certainly a decent song and worth the listen. Just not my top choice.
"When It Rains" -- my favorite song on the EP lyrically. Nice wanderlust song with great tinge of heartbreak. Love the simplicity of the arrangement, acoustic intro and wonderful strings, especially as they first come in on the song. Bruce has a way of storytelling when he's really on that makes me want to sing along. Great example of why I call Bruce the Master of Melancholy.
"Lifeline" -- what "When It Rains" does lyrically, "Lifeline" does musically. Probably the best overall song on the album and just fantastic hook. The kind that you find yourself humming or singing to yourself later in the day. Some nice Dobro work, I believe on this one.
"My Baby Now" -- another change of pace for Bruce in some regards; this seems a song that some piano-playing crooner will be singing soon. Not a bad song, but the pace and wistfulness slow the disc down. I see this being sung by Keith Urban to a sold our arena, not exactly Bruce.
"Anywhere But Here" -- picks pace up a little bit, especially right after "My Baby" but this one isn't an immediate grabber like some of his similar songs from previous works ("Tonight" from "Country Sunshine" for example). Bruce does everything well - this just doesn't stand out as significantly different nor does it have a major hook. Interesting that the last 2 minutes of this 5 minute song are all instrumental resulting in a musical fade that has nice musicianship, but drag on a little.
"What Makes You Say" -- Nice harmony on a song about marital dischord. Just a slow pace that makes it difficult to stay with it, at least when doing something like driving. Acoustic guitar and fiddle keep this one on the good list, too. The deliberate pacing on this requires a specific atmosphere for listening.
"23A" -- Interesting song about a song by a great songwriter. Nice feel, but not a pop-song. This is another one that doesn't fit a particular niche and that seems to be what Bruce, and at least this EP, are up to these days. It's a nice song.
CONCLUSION: Having had many weeks to listen over and over, my conclusion is that this is an EP because it's a collection of bits and pieces he had laying around the studio. It's not my favorite CD of his, but like so much of his work, particular songs grow on me and may someday be in heavy rotation on my future second iPod. It's certainly worth the price even if one only listens to their 2 or 3 or 4 favorites. Looking forward to hearing several of these live in August.
"Somewhere..." readers know that Bruce is atop the heap of my CD player these past several years and so the emergence of new work is always reason for cheer.
This one didn't disappoint, other than it's EP status, which of course means it is only about 2/3 to half of a regular album in length. Observations on this new work, song by song:
"It Came from San Antonio" -- a groovy little tune intended to harken the psuedo-British invasion (think The Monkees). While it has a catchy hook and is a little change of pace for Bruce, I wouldn't have made it the title track. I'm not keen on the organ or the ambient juke joint sound. It's an odd take on an odder niche and the "everyone join in on the chorus" feel doesn't suit Bruce's vocals. But it's certainly a decent song and worth the listen. Just not my top choice.
"When It Rains" -- my favorite song on the EP lyrically. Nice wanderlust song with great tinge of heartbreak. Love the simplicity of the arrangement, acoustic intro and wonderful strings, especially as they first come in on the song. Bruce has a way of storytelling when he's really on that makes me want to sing along. Great example of why I call Bruce the Master of Melancholy.
"Lifeline" -- what "When It Rains" does lyrically, "Lifeline" does musically. Probably the best overall song on the album and just fantastic hook. The kind that you find yourself humming or singing to yourself later in the day. Some nice Dobro work, I believe on this one.
"My Baby Now" -- another change of pace for Bruce in some regards; this seems a song that some piano-playing crooner will be singing soon. Not a bad song, but the pace and wistfulness slow the disc down. I see this being sung by Keith Urban to a sold our arena, not exactly Bruce.
"Anywhere But Here" -- picks pace up a little bit, especially right after "My Baby" but this one isn't an immediate grabber like some of his similar songs from previous works ("Tonight" from "Country Sunshine" for example). Bruce does everything well - this just doesn't stand out as significantly different nor does it have a major hook. Interesting that the last 2 minutes of this 5 minute song are all instrumental resulting in a musical fade that has nice musicianship, but drag on a little.
"What Makes You Say" -- Nice harmony on a song about marital dischord. Just a slow pace that makes it difficult to stay with it, at least when doing something like driving. Acoustic guitar and fiddle keep this one on the good list, too. The deliberate pacing on this requires a specific atmosphere for listening.
"23A" -- Interesting song about a song by a great songwriter. Nice feel, but not a pop-song. This is another one that doesn't fit a particular niche and that seems to be what Bruce, and at least this EP, are up to these days. It's a nice song.
CONCLUSION: Having had many weeks to listen over and over, my conclusion is that this is an EP because it's a collection of bits and pieces he had laying around the studio. It's not my favorite CD of his, but like so much of his work, particular songs grow on me and may someday be in heavy rotation on my future second iPod. It's certainly worth the price even if one only listens to their 2 or 3 or 4 favorites. Looking forward to hearing several of these live in August.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Catch up time
Some assorted comments about recent and not-as-recent events:
Last episode of Sopranos. Went out fairly tame for such a usually edgy show. Tony found the Americana that he was always chasing. And Paulie, my favorite character, got spooked by a cat. I loved that little touch, probably because I don't like cats any more than he does.
World's full of assholes, part 1: Some asshole stole my iPod out of my car. And to answer the question that apparently everyone who hears that news asks, no, the car wasn't locked. But it was in my driveway, on my property. Props to my new second-house down the street neighbor who noted aptly, as I usually do when I'm answering that question, that having a locked car would probably mean I'd be paying for a window or lock, too. As Paulie Walnuts would say on the Sopranos about the iPod thief...cocksucka!
World's full of assholes, part 2: So it wasn't enough they stole my iPod and who knows what else from others, we had more crime in my neighborhood. At least 1/3 or more of the 125 homes in my subdivision have small stone statues on top of their mailboxes. Our mailboxes are mostly large brick structures that envelope the mailbox and there's an unspoken tradition of people putting animal statues on top of their mailboxes. We had a lion to represent my college alma mater and my wife's high school. So a week after the iPod incident, my wife notices one morning that someone swiped all but one or two of these things from the entire neighborhood. Now I make midnight checks with the lights off of what's happening on our street. Let me catch some prick stealing from my home.
That's enough cheer for one post. Maybe next time, there will be happier thoughts.
Last episode of Sopranos. Went out fairly tame for such a usually edgy show. Tony found the Americana that he was always chasing. And Paulie, my favorite character, got spooked by a cat. I loved that little touch, probably because I don't like cats any more than he does.
World's full of assholes, part 1: Some asshole stole my iPod out of my car. And to answer the question that apparently everyone who hears that news asks, no, the car wasn't locked. But it was in my driveway, on my property. Props to my new second-house down the street neighbor who noted aptly, as I usually do when I'm answering that question, that having a locked car would probably mean I'd be paying for a window or lock, too. As Paulie Walnuts would say on the Sopranos about the iPod thief...cocksucka!
World's full of assholes, part 2: So it wasn't enough they stole my iPod and who knows what else from others, we had more crime in my neighborhood. At least 1/3 or more of the 125 homes in my subdivision have small stone statues on top of their mailboxes. Our mailboxes are mostly large brick structures that envelope the mailbox and there's an unspoken tradition of people putting animal statues on top of their mailboxes. We had a lion to represent my college alma mater and my wife's high school. So a week after the iPod incident, my wife notices one morning that someone swiped all but one or two of these things from the entire neighborhood. Now I make midnight checks with the lights off of what's happening on our street. Let me catch some prick stealing from my home.
That's enough cheer for one post. Maybe next time, there will be happier thoughts.
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